Meeting Notes 2012 05 23

I'm just going to let everyone know that I took extreme expressionistic artistic "flourish", I sought to descriabe, in material terms, the real essence of being of the Noisebridge social community to denote a self-referential totality to subvert the entrenched anarchistic postcultural paradigm. I'm really just stringing words together at this point.

This work is not intended to depict any real events or persons.

Note-taker: Zephyr the Pellerin

Moderator: Tom 'The Bomb' Lowenthal

Introduction and Names

Tom introduces himself, crowd seems to be in agreement -- "fuck tom".

Today, a small largely petty conversation begins to formulae at the dawning of the Noisebridge meeting, Zephyr has seen this scenario play out before. Tom attempts to restore order, only to be confronted with the mercilessness of reality. After a half-hearted cry for someone, anyone, to explain what Noisebridge is about, we find out that in the 20-some members present, some of them years into membership, frankly nobody can explain what Noisebridge is, the hallowed halls of Noisebridge stands in awkward silence. Faces are aghast, deep, existential dread confronts the whole room -- "What are we doing here, where are we going?", the whole premise of Noisebridge seems to be scarily characterized by "Being and Nothingness"

The injection of entropy continues, petty conversation comparing George Bush's (venerable) presidency to a Rubics Cube. We're basically Rhodes Scholars here.

Isis demands to know the location of the meeting notes, declaring "There's no Ps to be fucked with here". Another unsuspecting victim of Noisebridge madness no doubt.

You might be asking what Noisebridge madness is at this point. Don't. It eats a man's soul alive. They say if you spend too much time at the bridge, after too much technology, slowly, but surely, you'll go insane.

Science probably has a better explanation.

Leif "The Chief" is the first person with the bravado to attempt to explain what Noisebridge is. The subtext of his flowery words is obvious -- Noisebridge remains a Bolshevik breeding ground instilled with the essence of a Mental Institution. Come on down!

Short introductions.

- Hao is from Beijing hacker spaces. - Rubin declares hi - Mike's here - So is Ben - Isis - Leif - Carlos - Zephyr, lord of the dance - Cynthia - Stephen - That dumb tom guy

- Remember people, brevity matters, we're bereft of our complex mental facilities . - Hack Beer? I like that because of it's responsible.

- Repise of Privacy Hacking, we'll call it... Noon. As expected, none of this is actually on the wiki or has been emailed, it "will" happen.

Memberships --- - "John Witheres" probably a fed. Week number one, obviously. Tom is a government shill.

- Paul Monad, obviously cool, his name ends in Monad. He's an endofunctor over a closed branch.

Whoa, He's becoming a member!!!!

- Jim , whatever

- Aspen, whatever

- Tobias

- Harold Gasskil

- Daniel Jabor,

- Blake Griffith

- Zephyr (Lord of the Dance), everyone agree they really like him. Turns out he's still a member, hasn't abrogated anything, take that Kelly!

Serious objection to light being turned on. The years beneath the surface have made the inhabitants of Noisebridge photophobic.

MONAD IS BECOMING A MEMBER, THIS IS REAL, THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

Tom admits we've been basically reduced to nepotism and utter corruption, we're litterally being bribed for alcohol. This is rock bottom.

Interrogation!

Rubin: How do you feel about Noisebridge?

Monad: This is a radical social experiment. (See what I meant about Bolsheviks!)

Will: What sort of social experiments do you intend to run. (The Communist Sympathizer Kind Obviously! Did you know theres Sendero Luminso literature laying around Noisebridge (Not a joke))

Monad; The idea of consensus, the idea of being so inclusive is appealing to him. Most people here try to be as inclusive as possible. He's been getting mixed up about if he belongs, he doesn't know if he's a computer person.

Rubin: We're not just computer people. (Some even call us people!)

Monad: nonetheless, a language and jargon difference emerges.

The room is too inebriated to really formulate any sort of coherent response, so we just segway into the hard hitting personal attacks.

Leif: Under what circumstances do you block?

Monad: I haven't come across anything I would block. I would have to see something egregious.

Will: What if we wanted to start fires. (Nope, not joking)

Monad: Attempts to respond rationally.

Jesus god this is real life.

Monad: What is going on here? Are we self-destructing.

A silence comes over Noisebridge.

Tom declares this "The best answer".

We stand in self-loathing silence.

Jesse asks how he intends to contribute to Noisebridge's mission.

Rubin declares education unimportant. "Is there a Noisebridge? Is there a Mission?" The Mission doesn't include most of Valencia.

Tom tries to restore reason.

Fails

Monad claims that he wants to be used and use. Thats what it says.

Monad is a metal fabricator, seems to be an alright dude, more "exotic type of things". As well as other materials.

Rumors of note takers bias emerge. <-- Emo

Monad continues to elaborate on his dome building ability. He can build them in your oven.

How big?

Monad's Answer: Bigger than your oven. 2 Noisebridge members, one oven.

Always has been legitimate citizen of United States and paid his taxes. Always files his W2s.

Worked as patriotic CIA asset.

Definitely CIA asset. (Hebrew and Japanese is SUSPICIOUS!)

Jesse thinks this guy can be used. (For evil)

Tom declares this to be the end of questions. Demands tribute to his unholy god.

The price is right ensues.

Rubin thinks he might not be legit. All his W2s? (Even I haven't done that)

But Rubin declares him rad, I mean, his name ends with Monad. He's a closed endofunctor! No side effects.

Tom declares him to be "sponsorable"

Crowd loves him, Monad is in like flynn!

Surprisingly not a methhead? (Is he right for Noisebridge?)

Cuts keys? Are we sure he's not a meth head? Let's not get our hopes up.

Nonetheless, no objection.

This is who we are.

We seriously have to organize clapping. We're a chipper bunch, really.

Oh god, now we're going to talk financials.

I never studied this in school, forgive me.

Nope, don't even tell me.

God, here's the number anyway 18,888.24, And we're the millionth visitor!!!!!

• There are $2,101.33 earmarked NoiseTor funds
• Colo service has been paid through Jun 7, 2012
• There are enough funds to pay for an additional 2 months of colo
• This information was updated at Tue May 22 20:30:02 2012

Theres a bunch of proposals about cleaning. Jeez.

Will complains, but in a british way.

Tom has lost it, probably embezzling the cleaning money.

Tom finally admits it.

"Skyline Building Care", thats definitely not a front coincidentally this is what it costs Tom to buy a gram of meth (145) and spend it in his iniquitous ways.

Surprisingly no drama.

Rubin admits he's gotten us a deal through sexual favors.

Monad inducted!!!!

OHHH BURN ON RUBIN (They charge double, says the crowd)

Will explains that cleaning people clean, like bathrooms and the various nooks and crannys that the local meth addicted population cannot yet handle for psychological reasons. Thats thorough.

Isis issues fatwa on Carlos.

Will explains that cleaning may be a source of happiness for some.

Rayc has indeed been cleaning alot..

Rob, questions if external forces need application to the noisebridge entropy-o-meter.

Will explains that cleaning is a real life thing. Not something Noisebridge is good at.

Eric asks how long they spend cleaning.

Will responds they are capable of mopping, and preventing scurvy and syphilus in the space.

Will elaborates they spend at least an hour up tor 2 hours, they've been seen working.

Ben demands weekly payment, it needs to be weekly.

Tom tries to inject order into disorder. Clearly hasn't studied thermodynamics.

Will claims Cynthia was cleaning the Kitchen. But suggests that she can be territorial about allowing people to make use if the space after she has cleanned.

JUMPING JEEPERS, WE OWE WILL LIKE A GRAND, HE'S ONTO US.

Leif advocates fiscal responsibility (pointing out Noisebridge currently owes Will for previous cleaning; Will confirms NB owes him ~$1k in receipts for previous cleaning which he has submitted to the treasurer), the social conservatives boo him.

Will agrees but ripostes with health care proposal.

Nobody objects to this, surprisingly.

Monad asks if cleaning the space isn't a constant activity.

Tom agrees we should work to do so, and Tom believes it justifies the cost. It makes a difference

Ben asks if we want to formalize a cleaning crew?

Erics pulls some strait up do-ocracy like you heard about in school. It's on the wiki, this is happening people!!!!!

Will explains the cleaning people have metaphysical cleaning prowess, something about "ad-hoc", not going to let the reader be confused by his elitist UK words of wickedness.

Nevertheless, we consense to pay these cleaners some money for 6th months.

Tom, please, you need help, the 'cleaning company' sham fools none of us.

Tom pauses, struck by our caring intervention.

Tom moves on.

Tom expects mediators (from two weeks ago) to get their shit together.

Tom explains to Cynthia that she might be bias about the topic of Cynthia. . Tom and Ben are going to have a fencing match outside of Noisebridge after the meeting. To the DEATH!!!!

Mediators, please actually show up when you promise to. You said you would at How Wierd.

Tom modifies the record. Cynthia objects to some abuse, inappropriate and "unhonest" information, Miloh KNEW she was going to not be at this meeting. This gave them carte blanche!

Cynthia Also commented that she the notes referred to a female cop coached out of the bathroom when there were 2 police men, not women.

Ben knows that Miloh knows.

Tom explains people lie.

Cynthia is taken aback.

Tom expliains that this is simple shit, that we really should be working out through mediators.

Surprisingly, no topics of discussion emerge.

It's WILL hitting us with "Is super-q taking out our garbage or bikes?" A: wtf are you talking about.

Will may be attempting British humor.

Too dense, we all miss it

Ben and Will are going to have a fist fight in the space.

We all miss it.

Ben explains that there were a number of abandoned bikes that were ziptied. He has no clue where they are.

All the bikes went away.

Looks like people don't just leave their bikes at Noisebridge, this is surprising!!

Propositions of a community bike emerge.

Monad asks if we should allow someone to leave this bike here.

Jessy asks if this is evidence of habitation.

Queue laugh track.

Zip tie trap has been hatched!!!

Tom declares "fannnntastic" most fantastically.

Eric tells us about his friend, he met on sunday.

She was trying to take pictures of eclipse.

She would like to take pictures of us, I've been validated.

Holy shit, this is a speed meeting

TOORCAMP IS COMING UP, FUUUUUUUCKK YEAH.

So is HOPE.

If you'd like to go, Noisebridge camp is happening.

Mitch sent out a message on disgust.

Rubin draws parallels between Noisebridge Discuss and Pyramids of Giza, it's really just downhill from there.

Eric declares us "dreadfully out of men's shirts". That's verbatim.

Oh, he's talking about Noisebridge shirts, looks like I'm the asshole here.

Mitch is the source of men's shirts, surprise surprise.

Noisebridge tests faster than light neutrino information transit technology.

We're done!!!!!!

ZIPS ONLINE,